| theres this cd that janet keeps using in modern its called classical graffidie and i love it its all this classical music with all these rock inserts i think its awsome and i need to buy it but i dont know where to get it at the old hippie stoners modern dancers shop ugg i really need to get it though yea so i got chosen to plan the vo tech party yet again le sigh i really dont want to do it i dont want to go to vo tech any more ahh Je suis a little stressed at the moment im stressing about the summer to i dont go outside to much so im going to be surrounded by my parents the whole summer fuck fuck fuck i feel really disconnected from everyone latly it just doesnt make sense i just its just anixety but i feel like very one is picking out my flaws and pulling me on display uggh i guess im just hurt from anthony i shouldnt be im just weak when it comes to him it just makes me worse cause i dont know what to think about myself i dont know if im preatty so i just settle with everything being worse uggh i need to sleep yea sleep would be nice......................................... |
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| some random verses i had to get out of my head
its one of those things
that will never get out of your head
it will tear your mind aprt
in to little shreads
these smiles they haunt me
they're taking control
a pressure to be perfect
is more than i bargened for
am i missing you hear
or am i missing your touch
i dont know whats more
the love or the lust
nails are like jagged
sharp little knives
i aviod your gaze
cause its setting me ablaze
there are days when
i cant remeber the past
where i want to run forever
and never look back
When you touch my lips
you slit my wrists
im lost for you
in nothingness virtue
Saturday mornings make no sence
you always wake up in
friday nights mess
visions of what happened
but you can never see clear
you cant see his face
but its in mask
i hate the way saturdays last
Im drinking down condensation
and drinking saline
im so cold heat
pain sears through my feet
callues have spread
its numbing the past
i hate the way saturdays last
These photographs are stuck on pause
fake smiles haunt me
remind me who i always was
THe faces are all so farmiliar
but i cant get close enough to see
i touche the faces of ones i love
but have now deserted me
you hurt and you know it
im dead and i show it
im bound to be broken
please tear me apart
my fears are like trophys
they're piling up
your tapping your fingers
your losing my trust
when i met your eyes
i felt so alive
everything froze
i was stuck in time
i wish just once
that i could see you again
cause im haunted by you
i need to break through
i know they suck what can i say
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| .....::im going crazy::......
yea im bored as hell and my minds taking over so im going crazy i need a question asked which i couldnt because my dad was reformatting the freeking hard drive and then i spent the apternoon finger knitting because i was supossed to baby sit at church but no one came and i had to listen to this old indian women ramble for an hour and i couldnt understand it ugg i was too tired to deal with it yea school starts tommorw i wanna get the fucking year over with ugg i want new cds i want my fucking pay check ugg |
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| yawn i look like a crack head today i feel like one too im way too zoned out i look like a huge druggie i attempted to my micheal moore reportbut my family couldnt leave me alone for 5 fucking minutes and my dvd player wasnt working so i couldnt finish it i have finals at the end of this week which i havent studied for because im lazy and things are just falling apart uggh i need a break fuck finals skip to summer break ....last year steve told me i was going to be sweating bullets about finals this time of year and holy shit i think i am ..........theres no point in going to tech this week its like finals there to see who gets in to level 2 im not going in to level two so there is no point in taking the class so im just a waste of space comeon there was just a show i could do work or something i just dont want to take the class ::sigh:: i ll talk to sheila and see what she says maybe ill bring her chocolate she likes chocolate yea so i think i should have talked to him but im not sure see i dont have that regret feeling in my stomach but i just wish i had <I> i feel like such a fool</I> just looking and him and looking away damn im a lozer sometimes but thing is im just satisfied with seeing him but i want to see him more and i dont want to wai to next year o man i hope our paths cross somehow this summer ... that would be rad |
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